I am sad but have good news

I was donating blood after work this evening when the texts starting dinging and buzzing:

My best friend lost her father to the big C word. We have been praying for him ever since they found the brain tumor (over two years), and been praying for her to have a baby as we are both in the TTC battle.  I really wanted God to give her a baby long ago before he passed, but alas it wasn’t meant to be.  I am profoundly sad! Please join me in kind healing thoughts and prayers for their family!

I had just decided to delete the Facebook app on my phone to try it for awhile and just doing Instagram and blogging stuff; I get too stressed out with the election or comparing myself (still not pregnant), or I just don’t like the distraction at work or the screen time addiction at night. 

I am getting into Bullet Journaling and would much rather practice calligraphy, color, or stretch, or play piano in the evenings than stare down at my phone!

So, look what came in the mail!:

Lefty my Yorkie did NOT like the sound of the Activ Motion Bar’s weighted ball bearings!

At the IdeaWorld fitness expo, I got to test one out and was featured in the promo video so They kindly sent me an 8 lb bar!!  

I was so inspired by my friend Valerie who competed in the Ab Challenge! 

I have heard of these bars but I hadn’t gotten my hands on one and now I will use it in the evenings or add it to a home workout or bring it to a Bootcamp:)

I have a lot to be thankful for, just sad for tonight. This year has been so sad, celebrity deaths, fires, floods, cancer, racism and hatred and terrorism in the news!  And now it hit close to home. 

Sleep well and hold your loved ones tight.

That Moment When…

…Your Life Coach tells you that you need Therapy!

Yes, here I was sitting all smiles at the second session with the Life Coach, and I hear “You’re a powerhouse! Your top five strengths are so rare, it’s one in 33 million!” And then we ended the session not by scheduling more sessions but having two possible therapists to contact.

First I started out by saying what a rough day I had.

Then I shared some more past history. Some dark skeletons and some happy things and some scary things. 

That’s when he said he can’t help me, that I still need to address the shame based guilt(where I go to the gym, to work, to church and all social activities, and in my marriage) filled with doubts and feelings of “It’s all my fault!” 

The overly responsible, trying to hold it all together but knowing I can’t, the sweet people pleaser, the fun and pleasant always nice to everyone Christiana. 

My friends and I have been reminding each other of priorities: 

  • Soul care (time with God or meditation)
  • Then Self Care (exercise/eat right/hygiene/relaxation)
  • Lastly take care of everyone else (your work, your kids or pet, Etc).  

In order to have a healthy whole mind body soul and strength, I pressure myself to:

  • Get enough sleep (but I have trouble relaxing and having deep sleep)
  • Drinking water (but I love soda, coffee and tea too)
  • Taking my Reliv supplement (I keep thinking it might help me with TTC but…it’s all in my head!)
  • Use Doterra Essential Oils(where I spend a lot of my money is on health and wellness)
  • Eat healthy (but I still love wine, cheese, potato chips, French fries too!)
  • Exercise (6-7 days/wk, and if I don’t sweat I think it’s not good enough!)

And if I drop one of these little juggling balls, I negative self talk and blame myself internally! 

I don’t think it’s my parents’ fault, I don’t blame God, and I don’t think it’s all my exes’ fault. 

I am super gifted:

I am a WOOer where I win others over,

I am super positive,

I include everyone (reach out to the underdog, as an ally or an advocate for those who don’t have a voice)

I am an empathetic relater,

And I am a Communicator!

What are your strengths? Have you realized that the way you were designed is actually a good, wonderful and beautiful thing?  I cried in the first session because I had no idea, no one had ever told me those five things were really a great thing, I’ve just had people stifle and rein me in!

Hence, I am addicted to the likes and comments I get on social media! I love the rush and thrill that someone agrees with me and understands me. 

That’s enough for now, good night folks. More healing posts as I process this!  Go out and do good:) 

An epiphany during Yoga

The last few weekends I’ve been trying to make it to one or two yoga classes if I can!  During the week is more hard HIIT classes or running, spinning and other stuff.  My mama wanted to do a Pilates challenge with me, and I didn’t stick with it. I always have lofty goals of doing stretches or other videos in the evenings but if I already go to the gym in the morning, I’m tired and just walk my dog at night and I forget to do other exercises.  

So Sunday is my rest day. I sometimes do a fun run or long hike, but lately I’m trying to add in a yoga class.  It’s nice to meditate on the sermon you just heard or pick a song from church or your praise playlist (or however/whatever you want to meditate!):)

Last weekend in Palm Springs I told you about Holy Yoga🙂

This past weekend I was really concentrating on my breathing.

Two weekends ago though, I had an epiphany! For a couple years I struggled knowing the difference between and trying to learn a cobra versus Updog.  I “knew” it in my head, but I didn’t feel it. I saw it and watched teachers or friends do it but I could not grasp it.

All of a sudden it hit me two weeks ago: 

OMG! THE MORE I START WARMING UP WITH A FEW COBRAS, THE EASIER AN UPDOG JUST HAPPENS!!! I was ecstatic! I couldn’t believe I never even knew or realized this mind blowing idea!  My baby cobra got me ready for a cobra which in turn helped my back and core do an Updog! It felt incredible!!!  

I ended class by thanking God for my health, my body, and thanking myself and my husband for allowing me to get there.  It was awesome!!

What do you do to help yourself slow down? A cup of tea? A bath? Wind down by watching tv? A good book? So thankful:)

A desert weekend

A weekend of Desert RnR?This past weekend I went on a delicious girls’ retreat at the Palm Springs Hilton!

Me and Marilyn:

A few highlights: the huge pool and free time I had all to myself: people watching, getting a drink as I read my book, the nice hotel amenities like the fitness center and massager soap

And most of all 90 minutes of blissful solitude with God, reading and journaling from a guided meditation…And Holy Yoga!

What’s that you say? Yes, Christians do yoga! I never had a problem with it because to me it’s a stretch or just a workout but I know some people don’t like it (if they feel it’s against their religion, which is ok, to each his own) BUT Holy Yoga is nice when it’s pleasant inspiring music (praise and worship or contemporary Christian), and the certified instructor leads you with Scripture to meditate on. You can google search Holy Yoga to see if there’s a church or a park hosting classes!(nominal fee or donation).

It was awesome. I am so thankful for this amazing time!

A few low lights, though: there was a dust storm that first night so for some reason there was hardly any sun with a huge grey cloud cover and haze, and what was so weird was that it was super humid. Ugh. I am spoiled living out here, I am still not a fan of humidity! So when I expected to get a desert tan with the cacti, that didn’t happen but that’s not a big deal.

 It hit me that maybe I need to learn to be quiet, be a better listener, slow down and not be so rushed…But the more relaxing the room was, and the more I wanted to go find the fitness center, pool, or a quiet coffee corner. I realized we came for solitude and rest, and I wasn’t getting that. I had a great time, just not as restful and quiet as I had hoped. Here’s a couple highlights:

Me and Lucy:

Me by the pool:

My carpool friends and I had the best time, one brought a great play list and one brought lots of car snacks for us! And a date shake for the road:

I am very thankful for such a wonderful time!